What is left of the empire
that existed only in fairy tales
in the heart, in emotions not in physical wars,
where there is no place for words, or swearing over swords?
To sit and smoke my life away, to forget my mind, to forget memories
to smoke my life in a slice of abstract
to see only my ruins
and the downfall of failure.
Time...as it stamps wrinkles and plastic
first ones to last - fictile
on my thin skin that won't last forever.
In this mortal coil
life makes me ill
life makes me sick
my life must I constancy seek.
With the glowing colors of a gaze
long and lasting in a maze
on static figures in a haze.
When I close my eyes and never blink
then the feeling gets stronger
like a picture drawn with ink
becomes heavier, and maybe simply clear,
the feeling gets dimension
in the disappearing glowing colors of an LSD trip to the world of fear.
Tasted slowly, slowly from my memory things I'll never hear
like to see the future, my funeral and the stone memorial
in new static figures, that forever rule – no place for mortals.
How sad that only the static
is engraved in my memory. Like to see a sea
with no waves – dastardly.
The experience of closed eyes
and the colors inside that slowly fade away and die.
The colors and the feeling are so far away,
and it isn't possible to bridge and to pass the bridge on my way.
When the boredom becomes unbearable
then the colors come to be able
only in my head, to determine this and that is my water - wine or bread.
The ambition was lost like to lose the lust for my beloved
as if the desire to pass on my pride was thrown away,
as if addicted only to reception and I can't give anything away.
As if assimilated in colors, and I can't define what is white or what is luck
can't say: Of course I sense it, certainly its black – blackjack luck.
As if an orgasm of sight, the black hole opens like the love flower tunnel
of my gorgeous dream girl, has returned.
As if ,the as if, as if has taken over me.
As if time passed and there is only one hour
until the rose flower fades.
The pains comes to visit when I see the sea is too huge
that the ambition to swim to the other side has gone
to try to pass on the colors of my feelings.
And not to carry out a suicide stupidity willing.
The pain that settled
and only hurts more.
I wrote no testament – no will
and from life I ignore.
That is the only new concern in my life and shall be no more.
Who will release me from the pangs of sinking?
Without choosing
if the right side is right
or the left side the best
to commit suicide?
And forever rest...
Woman for life, only one, now and fast!!!
I will get from her new energy
to live, to see, to be on the edge, to be the best.
To desire, to have passion, to pass on my impressions
and my excitement over the colors in my heart,
the color of bleeding in red on the bed.
The colors in my head,
the colors of sad pain,
blue like a pain
pain in blue paint.
But bearable because they bring more to life.
The pain, though only the static moments stay.
The pain, though only the static moments
can be remembered,
and all the dynamics is only like a flow that can't be returned to,
returned to comfort when I am deep low.
To know that I know. And as more I know less.
No going back, can't return ever – it's embarrassing.
And hurts, and from here the pain is driven forward
the pain of the human race to return to childhood to make a mess,
if through the head, if through the feet, if through the genitals,
only to go back, not only static aesthetics.
All humans, from east and west, only want
the mother
the flesh and blood! Her spirit floats and flows
her mortality flies above you...
Woman, kind, from every kind
for a little while, a moment,
to feel the closeness, of her guard and protection.
To feel close, like in sexual intercourse.
From here the need to conquer a woman,
from here the pain from woman, from every kind of unkind female
first of all hurt,
that she threw me out,
she says: Cope!
She says: Build yourself an empire of spring and shine and glow.
She says: And fall with it in a moment, two seconds of penis happiness
and fall in autumn like a leaf at fall.
Of hearings her untrue lies after you lie down after you and her lie
so males and females always lie and lie and lie....
When a woman resembles a mother and uses her perfume,
she'll take you in for a moment,
and spit you out again forever.
Nothing can forgive the pain, of this God's plan.
That is why this poem was made!
To show a woman colors,
colors – like bleeding words - they are feeling, they are pain,
any she will say in her heart:
In this one, there is feeling,
he isn't like all the other males.
She will come to me
with open legs,
she will enter me into her life for an hour
she will believe in the existence of happiness
that comes from the rivers of love,
and when she will understand she was wrong,
that I am like the rest
with exactly the same need to pierce
one hour for a hundred dollars, the only need in me as a man,
she will leave me alone, so alone and insulated
to continue to find sand
and to create my sand empire
and I where there is no place for words, or swearing over swords
will sit and smoke my life away, to forget my mind, to forget memories
to smoke my life in a slice of abstract, to see only my ruins
and the downfall of failure.


Back up